A New Beginning
by mcl2436
Summary: The King was never stabbed because he wasn't alone on that last walk. Follow King Simon and Queen Helena as they deal with the consequences of the referendum and trying to repair their family. Can they find a way to choose love before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

Helena stood on the balcony overlooking the courtyard of the palace, whiskey in hand. She couldn't remember how long she had been standing there, but the sun had long sense faded into darkness. It had now been hours since Simon had caught her and Cyrus discussing their next play at stopping the referendum vote. His threat to Cyrus was meaningless to her, but the words he had spoken to her shook her to her very core.

His voice echoed in her head, "There will be no more affairs, Helena. Marriages end and so do monarchies." Of course, she had had to antagonize him further more, telling him he had lied to the people. That only ended with Simon calling her a bitch and walking out.

She knew he meant it. She had finally pushed him to hard and the world as she knew it was about to come toppling down. Forget the monarchy's image, there would be no monarchy left. The divorce of England's beloved king from his adulterous wife would be the tipping point in the vote for the referendum.

She took another sip of the whiskey, "Come on Helena, think. There's got to be a way to convince Simon to call off the divorce." But try as she might, Helena couldn't think of a solution. Her sins had finally caught up to her and there was no way out.

Helena had managed to avoid Simon since the scene earlier, but it was time to face him. She turned and walked back inside, placing her glass on the table before looking around, taking the time to appreciate the magnificence of the room itself.

"Generations of great people have passed through these doors, walked these halls," she thought with a sad smile, "and for a while I was one of them."

Walking towards the bedroom she had shared with Simon for the last thirty years of her life, Helena felt a sense of anxiety she had never experienced before. In all the times she had lied to him, snuck behind his back, she had never felt the sense of dread upon seeing him face to face as she did at this very moment.

Helena stopped dead in her tracks as she rounded the corner to where their bedroom was located as she watched two maids hurrying out with linens and what appeared to be the comforter that had been on her bed.

"What in the hell is going on?" Queen Helena demanded startling them both.

"We're sorry it's so late, ma'am. We tried to get this done sooner, but we had to wait on the mattress and furniture. Our apologies." Said the younger of the two.

"Mattress?" Helena said with a puzzled look.

"Yes ma'am. King Simon requested a new bedroom suit be brought in as well as a new mattress and linens. He said that you wouldn't care the pattern, we hope you like it ma'am."

"Uh-huh, I understand. Is that all King Simon told you?" asked the Queen.

Both ladies glanced at each other before one spoke, "No ma'am. He also said to burn the mattress that had been on the bed."

Helena tried to hide the look of surprise on her face before dismissing them in her usual style, "I see. That will be all, walk away."

Walking into the room she looked around. Every piece of furniture had been replaced, albeit it was still beautiful. Helena walked over to her closet and flipped the light switch, a sigh of relief escaped her lips. "At least he hasn't had my things packed up yet, thank god."

Glancing at the watch on her wrist, she realized it was after 9pm. Simon usually was in their room by now, occasionally working or making calls, but there nonetheless.

Helena wasn't quite sure what to do, "do I go to bed like nothing happened, wait up for him, go look for him?" For a woman that always had a plan, this was different territory for her.

"No, no, no. Damn it, I have sacrificed everything for this, I am not giving up without a fight." She said loudly. "So what, he redecorated. I'm still his wife and we are going to talk about this!"

Deciding that she wasn't going to be the one waiting on Simon to come and throw her out of their bedroom, Helena stalked out of the room a woman on a mission.

* * *

Simon glanced at his watch, he had told Liam to meet him here at 9. He should have known his son would be late.

"He has 15 minutes and then I'm going without him," Simon thought, trying to give his heir the benefit of the doubt.

He walked over to the window looking out towards the city, "what a day this has been."

His conversation with Helena playing like a recording in his ear. She had visibly flinched when he had called her a bitch, it was so uncharacteristic of him. In all the years that they had been married, rarely had he ever raised his voice at her, let alone cursed at her. He may have thought it, but saying it was something he couldn't undo.

Simon smiled to himself, "I'd have given anything to see her face when she walked into the bedroom tonight. If only I didn't plan on meeting Liam, I could have been there." He chuckled as he pictured her expression.

He heard her coming before he even saw her, the tale-tale click of her high heels giving her away. Simon braced himself for the fireworks he was quite certain was about to happen, only having her surprise him as she came to stand beside him by the window without saying a word.

* * *

"Where the hell is he?" Helena asked loudly. She had checked his study, the chapel, she had even checked the kitchen to no avail. "It's like he's bloody well disappeared."

She was on her way back through palace when she caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. He was standing at the far end of the hall, staring out the window. His shoulders were slightly sagged as if they held the weight of the world.

Helena began walking towards him, all the while deciding what to say. Yet as she got closer, every bit of fight that she had in her seemed to dissipate. "Look at him, I've helped do this," she thought as she quietly approached.

* * *

Simon was expecting yelling and screaming, instead Helena stared straight ahead before quietly asking, "Why now?

Simon turned to look at her, surprised she wasn't trying to pick a fight. "I'm tired Helena. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep putting this monarchy before our kids. We've already lost one, I can't lose another one and I'm so scared Eleanor is one hit away from OD'ing or Liam just one party from something bad happening. They're a fucking mess, Helena, and we've let them be."

Helena glanced up at him, "They're my kids too, Simon. You don't think I see what they're really doing? But they're being typical kids their age."

"My god Helena, there is nothing typical about them. We gave them everything money could buy and look at them. I have failed them as a father, and you have failed them as a mother. That's why this all has to end. We're nothing more than zoo animals."

Studying him, Helena said quietly, "And you think disbanding the monarchy will fix it? Simon, this is the only world they've ever known. If you take it away what happens to them then?"

"What happens to you, you mean my love?" He said sarcastically. "If this goes away Helena, we be their parents. We help them, push them in the right direction. Something we have both failed miserably at. And we try our hardest to make up for that."

Helena nodded her head, "Maybe you're right, maybe I am scared about what happens to me if this all goes away. My life before all this, you, the twins, seems so long ago, I don't know what happens if I'm not Queen."

"You know, Helena, instead of siding with Cyrus, you could have just come to me. You could have told me that very thing instead of sneaking around, firing good people just because. The monarchy has changed us all, and none of it for the better." Simon told her.

"I'm sorry I had Prudence fired." Helena responded. "Maybe there was some truth in what you said this morning. We used to lie about the little things, now everything is one big lie."

Eying her Simon leaned in, "I meant what I said this morning, Helena. I'm done with the affairs. You told me I used to bring you flowers, I tried last night only to see a certain young bodyguard leaving our room. You brought another man into our bed, I won't stand for it anymore. You will be faithful, or I will follow through and divorce you so fast you will wonder what happened."

Helena was silent, not sure of what to say. Simon knowing about Jasper was the last thing she had expected. She cleared her throat, "You know, I came to find you tonight because I had a maid inform me of the changes to the bedroom, and I was surprised to say the least. Especially since it seems you had the mattress burned. Which means, that'll be all over the palace by breakfast."

Simon rolled his eyes, "Helena."

"Let me finish please," she said as she cut him off. "It makes sense as to why now. The real truth is, you're right. I have failed as a mother and as your wife. I've changed and I don't even know when it happened. I'm sorry, Simon, truly sorry, for the affairs and for the lies. Our kids hate me. I can't even remember the last time that I had a real conversation with either one of them, or you for that matter. How did we get here? How did I get here?" Her voice caught as she asked the last part.

Simon glanced at his watch, realizing it was well past the time Liam was supposed to meet him to go for their walk. He had so much he had wanted to explain to him, show him. Instead, it seemed tonight he was going to make a decision about his wife. He had threatened to divorce her just hours before, but now, seeing her standing in front of him, the thought of living without was more frightening.

"Helena, will you take a walk with me?" Simon asked her.

"Are you crazy, it's cold and dark out and we need to finish talking." Helena told him.

"Helena, please, for the love of god go and change. Put on something warm, and rather discrete. I want to show you something." Simon instructed her.

Helena hesitated before Simon finally said, "We're going to talk, Helena, probably more than you'd like to. It's going to take more than tonight; there's going to be yelling, maybe some crying but for now we're going for a walk."

"Okay then," was all she said, as headed off to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much dear readers for all of the kind words and reviews. I hope that you like this chapter and continue to review!

* * *

Helena was surprised to say the least at how easily Simon had maneuvered them outside of the palace walls with no security detail. She had commented on the relative ease as they had reached the gates to which he simply shrugged his shoulders and kept walking. Dressed as casually and inconspicuously as possible in jeans, a dark sweater, and boots Helena was doing her best to keep pace with the King as they wandered the half empty streets.

"Where in hell is he taking me?" she thought to herself as she hurried along. "First, he asks me to go for a walk in the bloody middle of the night, then he won't speak."

They had been walking the better part of ten minutes when she finally decided to break the silence, "It's cold, Simon. What are we doing out here?"

King Simon stopped walking and turned to her, "Look around, Helena. Look at the people that are out tonight. We're simply inconsequential to them. They have problems much bigger than ours and they're struggling to get by every day."

Helena glanced around, unsure of what to say. "I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to tell me."

Simon sighed, "I'm trying to tell you, to show you the rest of the reason I want to disband the monarchy. Our family, our children, even you Helena, are going to be my first priority whether I'm King or not. But these people, my people, hold a dear place in my heart too. I come out here, I walk around and listen. I get on the tube and just ride, listening to them talk about their days, telling others about their problems. They're struggling to buy food and my wife is spending a small fortune and fancy knickers."

Simon began to walk away as Helena processed what he had told her. Quickly she fell into step beside him. Curiosity got the best of her as she asked, "How often do you do that?"

"Come out here? At least once a week, sometimes more." Was all the answer that she got.

"And you're always alone?" Helena questioned. "No detail or anyone else?"

"Ted and I have an arrangement; he'll look the other way when I decide to take a walk. And yes, I'm alone, who else do you think would be with me?" Simon asked glancing at his wife.

Helena was silent. But to herself she thought, "maybe that little meekly ass maid."

As if reading her mind, Simon said, "Are you serious, Helena? Prudence? Really?"

"Well you've been fawning over her for weeks, I figured maybe you'd brought her out here. Seeing as you've never brought me before." Helena said sarcastically.

"I'm not the one who cheats, dear." Simon answered with just as much sarcasm. "And I doubt you would have come even if I'd have asked you."

Helena stopped abruptly as his statement hit home. She reached out and grabbed Simon's arm all the while looking him straight in the eye, "I'm sorry about, Jasper. Honestly, I am."

Simon remained expressionless, "And the others?"

Taken aback, Helena was at a loss for words.

"I've known about all of them, Helena. I've always known. To start with, I blamed it on you being young and going straight from your parent's home to mine. And then the twins were born and it seemed like you had sowed all the wild oats you needed to. I thought we were happy; we had a beautiful family and we were in love, or so I thought. Then time passed, and I guess it was the little things. A missed call here, an extra day on a trip there. Before you know it we were a couple that shared a room, and not much more. We took each other for granted, and I quit bringing you those flowers." Simon gave her a sad smile, "So when you would have a small affair here or there I let it go. I allowed you that space when I shouldn't have, mostly to keep our family together. Any other man would have put his foot down, but I am now Helena. I meant it this morning, the affairs are done with."

A tear escaped the corner of her eye, as she listened to her husband recount his knowledge of her sins. With a gloved hand, Helena reached up and wiped it away. The remorse that she felt was almost too much as whispered, "I'm sorry. So very sorry."

Helena, spotting a park bench, walked over and sat down. Simon followed suit waiting for her to speak.

"I never knew that you knew. I always thought I was being careful." Helena began as another tear slipped down her cheek. "But I have no real excuse. You gave me anything and everything that I wanted and then some. I was selfish, and I'm just sorry. And I'm sorry that you had to know what I was doing."

Simon looked at her and nodded, as she continued, "You're a good man Simon. In case you didn't know that, you are. I never deserved you, and if this doesn't prove it, nothing will. I was frivolous with your feelings, and with our family. I used to be so different. When we first met none of the glitz or glamour mattered, I had hopes and dreams and ideas of what life would be like. What our kids' lives would be like. I never thought I would be one to cheat or ignore my children, but I have and I do. I let the prestige and power dictate who I've become, and for that I'm ashamed."

There was a truthfulness to her words that spoke to Simon deeper than even he could have imagined. It was as if Helena was finally seeing herself through a mirror and realizing that she could be better, that she had more to offer. Listening to her, he found himself hopeful, and full of forgiveness.

"Helena, look at me. You do deserve this. And it's not too late, especially with the twins. Do you know why? Because at the end of the day, you're still their mother. And even a bad mother, is always going to be their mother." He stopped himself, "Wait, I'm not calling you a bad mother, just maybe a slightly misguided one. But it's fixable. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, Eleanor is a god-damn mess. You just have to make up your mind to mend that relationship. Underneath her bad attitude, she's nothing more than a girl that wants her mother to love her. As for Liam, every boy has a special place in his heart for his mother. He may be the easiest relationship to mend out of us all."

Helena looked at him with questioning in her eyes, "Out of us all?"

"Yes, us all, Helena. I brought you out here so you could see just how little the monarchy matters outside the palace gates. They don't need us, but we need each other. If we're ever going to survive as a family, we need each other and love. No more do I want us to be viewed as a pack of zoo animals, I want us to get our lives together and be happy. And if that takes a referendum passing to do it, to do away with this life we lead, then so be it."

Without giving her time to absorb everything he said, Simon kept on, "We've already lost one child. With every breath I breathe I miss him, I can't lose another one. So this is where we stand, Helena. I spoke to the people this morning, asking them to let it pass. They've heard my reasoning as have you."

Simon stopped as if trying to find the right words to say, "I'm giving you a choice, Helena, you can choose to stand with me in support of the vote and work on repairing your family and your relationship with your children, or I divorce you for infidelity and you can disappear probably completely losing the twins in the process. It's your call, just let them vote. They may decide to keep us, but as long as they vote on it I'll support whatever decision is made."

Helena's face held a shocked expression as the ultimatum she was just given sank in. She eyed Simon for any sign that he was joking with her, but his face held a seriousness she would recall for the rest of her life. It was now or never.

Simon stood up from the bench, watching her as he did. He held out his hand, "Just choose love, Helena, what do you say?"


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all of the reviews! And for taking the time to read! Hopefully this is a feel good chapter... let me know what you think!

* * *

Helena looked at Simon's outstretched hand, as she replayed the words he had just spoken, "Just choose love, Helena. What do you say?"

"If only it were that simple," she thought. "To start over and fix the mistakes. To replace all the hurt and betrayal with love and new memories." But then a new thought emerged, "What if I let him down again, what if I can't mend the relationship with the twins? I will have failed twice with the same ending."

Simon could almost hear the internal dilemma she was having, but instead of withdrawing his hand, he said, "Helena, don't overthink it. Right here, right now, make a choice with your heart."

At his voice, Helena looked up into his eyes and she knew, she was through with it all. All of the affairs, all of the deception; she was through with everything that could potentially destroy her family. It wasn't the threat of divorce, it was the realization that she loved her family and the man standing before her. His eyes held no anger or resentment for past transgressions as they rightfully should have, instead they showed nothing but forgiveness and love.

"I am." She reached out, taking his hand. "I'm choosing our family; I'm choosing you."

Simon pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her, "Thank God," he whispered before kissing her. It had been so long since they had shared more than an occasional peck on the cheek, it almost felt foreign. Their kiss began to deepen as they began to remember the feel of each other's lips.

Helena was finally the one to break away, tears brimming in her eyes. "Simon, are you sure we can make this work?" She glanced down, almost afraid to look him in the eye as she asked, "Are you sure I haven't damaged this beyond repair?"

Simon tilted her chin up with one hand, "Helena, look at me. I'm not saying this is going to be easy. In fact, this is probably going to be one of the hardest things we've ever done. There's going to be yelling and screaming, more tears, and that's just Cyrus." He smiled at her reassuringly, drawing a smile and small chuckle in return as she dabbed at her eyes.

"They're happy tears. I can't seem to make them stop." She sniffed.

"We're going to struggle, because there is a lot to repair. Between you and I, and between you and our children. But I have faith the woman I married is still in there, because every now and then I get glimpses of her." He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "I know you set that fire at the whiskey factory."

The comment drew a deep laugh from his wife as he said, "the woman that did that? That's full of spunk and has a good heart? That's who I know you could be all the time if you let yourself because that's who you really are. You may want the people to see one version of you, but I see the real you Helena, even if you can't see her anymore."

Helena nodded her head, amazed that even after everything he could still see the good in her. "I'm going to try. I swear I'm going to try."

"When it seems the most difficult, that's when we fight harder. When you don't think you're making headway with Eleanor, you keep pushing. It's all going to be worth it, I fully believe that. And Helena, from here on out, I expect total honesty from you, and I'll give it in return. Okay? Because no matter what happens with the referendum, where we are in 6 months or a year, we're a family and we have to be able to trust each other."

Helena took a deep breath, truthfulness definitely wasn't her strong suite, "Okay. But in the sense of full disclosure, I need to know something."

Simon gave her a puzzled look.

"This morning, when you caught Cyrus and I together plotting, you were ready to divorce me. In fact, that look in your eyes, you really scared me. As long as I've known you, you've never showed that kind of anger before. So why the change in heart tonight?"

This time, Simon smiled, "We've been married for thirty years, Helena. That's over half of our lives now. They may not all have been the happiest times, but we've had some good years. When I think back over our lives, it's not the bad memories I see, but the good ones. I see the day Robert was born. I see the day you told me you were having twins and the shocked look in your eyes. I see you in Eleanor every time I look at her. Liam has your smile, and Robert had your wit and your ability to light up a room. I see birthdays and parties, and a young Queen playing hide-and-go-seek with her children in the gardens. You were even the one holding King David's bible when I became King."

"Almost every good memory I have, you're a part of in some way. I don't want to be looking at someone else ten or fifteen years from now and say, "Doesn't our grand-daughter look exactly like Eleanor did at this age?" Because they won't know, Helena, because they're not you. I'm just not ready to give up on thirty years just yet. Does that answer you're question?" Simon asked her.

Helena smiled as the same memories flashed before her eyes. "I will still be too young for a grand-daughter in ten or fifteen years, dear." She jokingly said.

Helena looked out over the city, "I had forgotten how gorgeous it is at night. Thank you for bringing me and explaining the full reasoning behind your push for the referendum. I'm still not completely sold on the idea of you handing over the monarchy, but for our family, I will support your decision to let the people vote and stand by you if and when it takes place.

"Thank you for that." Simon draped an arm over her shoulders, "Let's go home."


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for all of the kind reviews. I wrote and rewrote this chapter, hopefully you enjoy it.

* * *

He sat up and gently tried to slide her over enough that he could turn comfortably without waking her. She grunted in response, as her eyes slowly opened.

Simon gave her a big smile as he said, "Good morning, love. Now could you please move over just a bit, please, I'm about to fall out."

Helena obliged just enough that Simon was able to turn comfortably to face her as he lay back on his pillow. "How'd you sleep?" he asked.

Giving a big yawn, Helena looked at him. He knew it took her a few minutes to get going in the morning so he was content to wait her out. Finally, she spoke, "I'm going to have to get used to this new bed, I'm a little stiff. But other than that I slept good."

Simon laughed, "It was either you get used to a new bed or a new life as a divorced and exiled queen."

Helena responded with an elbow to his ribs. "That's really not funny." She watched him for a second before adding, "This Is nice. Us, talking and joking like this. I've missed it."

"Me too. And as much as I'm enjoying laying here, I need to get ready. I have a meeting after breakfast." Simon leaned over and gave her a quick kiss before getting out of their bed to get ready.

* * *

Helena sat putting on her makeup when the picture occupying the right corner of her vanity caught her attention. It was of her and Eleanor as a baby, right before her first birthday. Her mind drifted back to the day as the memory became more vivid.

 _"Eleanor, come on darling, you can do it. Walk to me." Said a young Helena as she coaxed her on. Her daughter was a few weeks' shy of her first birthday, and had been pulling herself into a standing position for the last week. She had watched countless attempts as Eleanor would hesitantly take a step before falling back down onto her bottom._

 _This time, Helena felt certain that her daughter was going to get it. She had pulled herself up beside the couch in the main sitting area and completely let go as she smiled proudly at her mother. So confident that she was going to walk, Helena had sent Rachel, her new assistant to bring Simon immediately. For a King with a country to run, he was completely enamored by anything that his children did, and tried to be as present as possible._

 _"You've got it, sweetheart, come on." Helena said, as she knelt down a few feet in front of her daughter._

 _"Did I make it in time?!" Simon questioned as he walked into the room, camera in hand. "I ran as soon as I realized what Rachel wanted."_

 _"You haven't missed anything yet, but she's ready, look at the determination in her eyes." Helena replied._

 _As if sensing that her parents were both waiting on her to do something spectacular, Eleanor slowly began to place one chubby leg in front of the other, moving ever so hesitantly in the direction of her mother. Eleanor took one last shaky step, before reaching her mother with a giggle._

 _Helena scooped her daughter up, wrapping her arms around her in a hug, before turning to Simon. "Did you see that? Did you see her?!" She beamed with pride. It was that moment he had caught on film, a young queen filled with pride in her daughter's accomplishment and a smiling baby girl._

"Helena, did you hear me?" Simon asked walking out of his closet.

Helena turned to look at him, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was telling you that I have a meeting with the Prime Minister in an hour and that I'll be out of reach." Simon furrowed his brow, "Where were you just now?"

Smiling, Helena pointed at the photo, "I was thinking about the day you took that picture. That was such along time ago, another life it seems. And now I've got so much ground to make up with Eleanor. If you'd have told me that day things would turn out like they have, I wouldn't have believed you."

Simon walked over to his wife and knelt down, "Helena, I told you last night, it's doable. You're her mother, no matter what has happened up until now that fact hasn't changed. That girl wants nothing more than for you to love her and be a presence in her life. Trust me on this."

Helena reached out, cupping the side of Simon's face. "Thank you for saying that. And thank you for not giving up on me. I don't think I told you that last night, but I want you to know how much this second chance means to me."

"I believe you, my love." Simon took her hand from his face and kissed her palm before standing up. "What are your plans for today?"

Helena answered, "I have a few calls to make, but then I was going to see if Eleanor would like to get out for a little mother daughter time."

"Might I make a suggestion? Spend the whole day with Eleanor, forget the calls. Get out of the palace, maybe go to the stable?" Simon offered before turning serious. "Helena, we do need to talk about Cyrus. I'd prefer you not talk to him without me present."

"Simon." Helena started, "I understand starting fresh, and the need for trust. I also understand that Cyrus is sore subject for you and I respect that, but you can't limit who I can and cannot talk to. That's a bit much."

"On this I can, my dear." The King said with all seriousness. "Helena, you're my wife, and I'm making a conscious effort to move past everything. But Cyrus is my brother, and sadly he is nothing more than a cancer on this family. I wasn't just threating to strip his title yesterday, I meant it. Even if the people choose to let us remain the ruling monarchs, Cyrus will be gone. I plan on stripping him of all titles and monetary support. Not only will I be discussing moving forward with the referendum in our meeting, but this issue is going to be addressed as well."

Helena's eyes widened with surprise, "Are you sure about this? Once it's done and becomes official you can't just undo it. Simon, I really think you need to think this through. He is your brother after-all. Don't do anything to hastily."

Simon held up his hand to stop her, "I've given this a lot of thought, Helena. Even before I made up my mind about us, I had made up my mind about Cyrus. He has made it his life's work to undermine me, and some of it he has done with your help. Enough is enough. I want you to stay because I love you, but my brother, Helena he would kill me in a heartbeat if he thought it would put him on the thrown. He is nothing more than a morally bankrupt drug addict and he will no longer represent this family."

Helena was stunned, "I don't even know what to say. If you're going to talk to the Prime Minister about it today, when are you going to tell Cyrus? He needs to hear this from you before he gets wind of it some other way and makes even more of a scene."

"He's going to here it from me today. It's time I clean house, Helena. When I get back from my meeting and can find Cyrus, I'm going to break the news to him. It might be best if you weren't here." Simon answered.

"No, Simon." Helena said shaking her head, "Last night, I told you I may not agree with you, but I would stand by you. That goes for this as well. From now on, I plan on being the supportive wife I should have been from the very beginning. If I disagree with you, I'll let you know but I'll be there beside you every step of the way. So I'm going to spend the day with our daughter if she'll let me, but when you feel it's time to go speak with Cyrus, I'll be there with you for support. And if it means that much to you, if I run into him today, I'll make an excuse and blow him off."

Simon stood in awe of the woman before him, for far too long they were simply two people leading separate lives that happened to share children and a sporadic happy moment. But in less than a 24-hour period they were evolving into what he had always hoped they would be, a solid partnership based on trust, loyalty, and love. It wasn't perfect yet, but they were making solid strides.

"Thank you, Helena, now go enjoy your day. I've got a meeting to get to." Simon gave her a small peck on the cheek before turning to go. When he reached the door he stopped, "I'll wait and speak to Cyrus tonight when we can both be here. You have no idea how much it means that you're willing to do this with me."

Helena gave him a small smile.

"Oh and Helena, have fun with Eleanor."


	5. Chapter 5

I apologize for the delay. I've just changed jobs and have had to travel some for work. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I appreciate all the kind reviews for the last chapter. Please continue to let me know what you think. I'm off for a few nights so I'll try to have the next one up no later than the weekend. Thanks again!

* * *

Helena stood outside her daughter's bedroom door deciding whether to knock or just enter. It had been so long since she had tried to spend a full day with Eleanor, or any quality time besides the few minutes it usually took to state her disapproval over her daughter's choices she wasn't sure what to do. She finally settled on just entering.

Easing the door shut behind her, Helena looked around taking note of the clothes strewn around the floor and thrown over various pieces of furniture.

"My God, what a mess," Helena muttered as she stepped further into the room. She looked over at her daughter's sleeping form, before her eyes landed on the table at the center of the room.

Helena walked over to the table, bending down to inspect its contents. She picked up a bag of pills eying them closely, "these definitely aren't prescription."

Sitting the pills down, Helena noticed the picture frame on the table. It was the same picture she had on her vanity of the day Eleanor took her first steps. Helena smiled to herself, happy to see her daughter still kept their picture close. She traced her fingers over the picture only to feel something on her fingers. Looking at them, she noticed the thin white powder on her fingertips.

Realization dawned on her, "She's snorting coke off of our photo. I've failed worst than I ever thought possible."

Helena walked closer to her daughter, studying her sleeping form. Rarely did she have the chance to observe her this closely without the backlash of yelling or screaming. "She's so at peace when she's asleep." Helena thought, "not angry at everything or everyone."

Deciding to wake Eleanor up, Helena sat down on the bed beside her daughters sleeping form.

"Eleanor, Eleanor wake up," Helena said as she shook her daughter's shoulder.

"Go to hell," came the mumbled reply as Eleanor rolled away from her mother.

"Likely, but not today," Helena answered, "Wake up, I thought you may like to go see Charlie White today."

Eleanor picked her head up from the pillow, "Why? It's not my birthday or anything."

"I know, I just wanted to spend the day with you is all. We don't have to go to the stables, we can stay right here, or do anything you want to do." Helena offered.

"Mum, are you high? What's going on, we don't just spend the day together." Eleanor questioned.

Helena laughed, "I'm not high. I know we don't just spend the day together and I'd like to change that. Eleanor, I've made a bloody mess of things and I'd just like to talk if that's okay."

At this, Eleanor sat up in the bed and leaned back against her pillows watching her mother carefully, "What is there that to talk about?"

"Scooch over, Eleanor, we're going to be here a while." Helena answered as she herself got comfortable.

Taking a deep breath, Helena began, "When you were born, I had this whole life planned out for you. You were my only daughter and I vowed that I was going to do better by you than my mother did me."

"Duchie rocks, mum. I'm not sure what you're talking about." Eleanor cut in.

"Now maybe, and to you, but for me it's a whole different story. Okay, Eleanor, I'm going all the way back to the very beginning because I want you to understand everything." Helena said, looking her daughter square in the eye. "Your grandmother wasn't always the best parent, and well, way back before your father there was another boy, he worked on our farm. He was everything to me. We were in love and planned to get married, until black Friday hit. I had never seen my father cry until that day. That day I found out we were going to lose everything. But before that could happen, my mother somehow managed to get me on the list of eligible women for a young King. All of our families hopes and dreams were pinned on me, so I said goodbye to the boy I loved and married your father."

Eleanor was silent, unsure of what to say, or where her mother was going with all this.

"So when you were born I vowed to myself that no matter what happened, I wouldn't do that to you. You were going to have the freedom to choose. I had so many dreams of all the things you and I would go and do. It's different when a mother has a daughter, Eleanor, she sees the big wedding, all the parties and dresses. But I failed you, somewhere along the way I lost site of the parent you needed me to be, and I became what I promised myself I'd never become. I'm not proud of who I've become, you needed a mother that was present and involved, instead I basically abandoned you. I let the status and image become more important than my family, until that was all that mattered. I can't tell you how sorry I am, Eleanor. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you, if you'll let me try."

Eleanor studied her mother carefully, looking for some kind of tell that she was lying. Instead, all she saw was remorse and guilt written on her mother's face. "Why now?" she asked quietly.

"Because it was brought to my attention how badly I've messed things up with every one of you. I finally saw myself in a mirror, and saw who I've become and I'm not proud of it. I told you about my first love and what my mother did to really make you understand. I picked the power and prestige once over love once. It was the right choice then because I wouldn't have you or your brothers if I didn't, but I'm not going to pick it again; this time I'm choosing my family. I'm choosing you and Liam and your father over all of this."

"You're choosing us?" Eleanor questioned bewildered before adding, "if that's true, did you ever love dad or has he always been means to an end."

Helena thought for a second, deciding how to with complete honesty. "I'm not going to lie to you. It did take some time, but I came to love your father. We've shared some good years, and some not so good ones." Helena paused, "Simon said some things to me the other night that really opened my eyes to how badly things have gotten between all of us. And then he told me told me to choose love, and I am."

"Dad told you that? And your choosing him too?" Eleanor shook her head. "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around all of this."

"I've made some serious mistakes in my life, Eleanor, not being a good mother is at the top, but not being a good wife is right behind it. To the people I've been a good Queen and fulfilled my duties as I should, but as I wife, I haven't been the partner your father deserves. He's a good man, and he deserves far better than me. But for some unearthly reason he still loves me; we had a long talk and are trying to work some things out. With that said, I want you to know that I've decided to support him in his decision to abolish the monarchy."

Eleanor jumped from the bed at the last statement, "What the hell, mum? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Eleanor, sit back down, please," Helena instructed. Eleanor sat back down on the edge of the bed as her mother continued speaking, "This isn't a joke. I may not agree with his decision but I'm going to to support it. I do see his point, how it's affected you and Liam, how it affected Robert, how it's affected me. Yet, it's been the only life I've known for so long; it's been the only life you've ever known. There is always a chance the referendum won't pass but if it does, we're going to be alright."

"That's not what you said to me the other day. As I recall you told me I'd be nothing without this." Eleanor emphasized the last few words.

"I was wrong. Eleanor, look at me. You are so much more than all of this. You have a fire within you, your spirited and smart, and you're beautiful. You can do anything that you choose to do, and I was being a complete and total bitch for telling you anything other than that. I'm sorry for that." Helena eyed her daughter carefully before adding, "And your especially more than all of the drugs sitting on that table over that. The pot is one thing, but the rest, it's time to sober up darling."

"Like hell, mum. You can't just come in here and say all of this stuff, drop a few bombshells on me and then tell me I need to sober up!" shouted Eleanor as she jumped off the bed again.

Helena stood up, looking for a garbage can. Spotting one in the corner of the room, she grabbed it and made her way to the table as Eleanor watched dumbfounded.

"Yes, I can. Because I have let you get away with too much for too long," Helena said as she began throwing everything but the picture frame in the garbage. "I haven't been the best mother, but goddamit I'm still your mother. And the days of staying stoned out of your mind are over"

Before Eleanor could even respond, Helena sat down the garbage can and marched over to her until they were standing nose to nose, "No matter what has happened or how much I've let you down, I love you more than you will ever know, and its damn well time I start showing it. So let's try this quality mother-daughter time again tomorrow, okay? Now, I told your father I'd help him with some house cleaning so I'll just go wait for him to get back."

Helena wrapped her arms around her daughter giving her a squeeze before kissing her on her cheek. She then turned to go, stopping to grab the garbage can full of drugs as she did. "You won't be needing these anymore. Love You!" she yelled back as she left the room.

Eleanor stood unmoving, completely in shock over what had just happened. And then, slowly, a small smile crept across her face. It was the first time in years that her mother had actually talked to her and not just at her. And better yet, in one act of taking out a garbage can, had actually proven how much she did love her daughter.


	6. Chapter 6

I definitely didn't mean for it to take this long to update. Life has been so chaotic with a new job and all. Hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait some. I'm already working on the next chapter, so it shouldn't take nearly as long. Let me know what you think! Thanks so much!

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King Simon walked the halls in search of his wife. His meeting with the Prime Minister had ended earlier than expected and after a text message to Helena asking how her time with Eleanor was going, Simon found himself back at the palace. He had hoped for the best today as the two most important women in his life attempted to reconnect, instead a teary eyed emoji and a "not good" reply led him straight back to the palace.

He had first tried her office, a magnificently designed state room Helena had commandeered as her own personal work space. Knowing her usual attitude of work before family, Simon was sure she would be throwing herself back into whatever project she currently had going instead of dealing with an ill fated attempt at spending time with Eleanor. Instead, he found the room completely empty with no sign of his wife at all.

Several text messages went unanswered as Simon tried to no avail to locate her. Usually Helena was a force in the palace, a presence that every one felt. But today it seemed she needed to be invisible. Deciding to run by their room to change before heading out to the gardens to look for her, Simon was met with a surprise. There at the end of the bed sat his wife. Her head was in her hands, her hair flowing around her shoulders. She had been crying he was sure, and yet the sight of her took his breath away.

Helena looked up as her husband shut the door behind him, trying to quickly wipe her face before he noticed, "Simon, I wasn't expecting you back so soon. How did the meeting with the Prime Minister go?"

Instead of answering her, Simon sat down on the bed beside her taking her hand, "Helena, darling, what's wrong. What happened with Eleanor? A sad face emoji didn't really give me the whole story." He added with a smile.

"I don't even know where to start, Simon." Helena said sadly, a hint of defeat in her voice. "I've been sitting here feeling sorry for myself for the last little while. I tried to get her to go see Charlie White with me, she didn't really want to. I even suggested we could do whatever she wanted, I just wanted to spend some time with her. She told me we don't have that kind of relationship." Her eyes began to tear up again. "I want that kind of relationship with her. I wished I could go back and change so many things. I want nothing more than for our daughter to confide in me, want to spend time with me. I think it's too late, Simon."

King Simon placed an arm around his wife, pulling her close. "It's not too late, Helena, I don't believe that. It's just going to take some time. You may not see it, but I've seen how Eleanor looks at you. There's a longing there. She wants that same type of relationship with you. It's not going to happen overnight, but give it some time."

Helena nodded in understanding, "We did talk some, well I talked, she listened. I told her I was sorry, and that I never wanted to be the type of mother that I had become. I never wanted to be my mother. I also told her I was choosing this family, that I was choosing you, and that I was going to support your efforts to have the monarchy disbanded."

Simon raised an eyebrow at the last part, "I wished you'd have waited on that piece of information, we probably should have told both her and Liam together." He then asked, "How'd she take it?"

"I'm sorry darling, please don't be mad. I know that wasn't the best way to handle it but I needed her to know things were going to be different. That I was supporting you, and if it meant giving it all up I would. I made some comments to Eleanor the other day I'm not very proud of, about her and this monarchy. They were bitchy and hurtful and that's why I said them, but I needed her to know that I didn't mean them."

"What did you tell her?" Simon asked with a puzzled expression.

Helena looked down, "I'm so ashamed to even admit I said this to Eleanor, but I told her without the monarchy she was nothing. That I'd be fine, but without all of this she was useless."

Simon stood up, pacing back and forth, "Damn it, Helena, why would you tell her that? How in the hell under any circumstance could you tell our daughter that?"

"You're not yelling anything I haven't already said to myself, okay. That's why I needed to tell her about supporting the referendum. Because I wanted her to know that if it passed, she'd be okay. I told her how smart and beautiful she is, and how she can be anything. She needed to hear that, Simon, and she needed to hear it from me."

"What did she say to that," Simon asked as he sat back down beside his wife.

"Well, she didn't really have a chance to comment, because I also told her she was more than the drugs she's been doing. That's when she got really upset." Helena looked at her husband carefully, "Simon, she's been doing cocaine. Did you know that? I knew about the pot, hell I do that occasionally, but I didn't know about the cocaine. She actually snorts it off of a picture of me and her. Isn't that the ultimate insult? She hates me that much. But I told her that the days of her staying stoned are over. That I let her get away with too much for too long. So I threw it all in a garbage can and told her I loved her. She was speechless by that point."

Simon stared at his wife, dumbfounded by what she had just told him. "You threw it all away?"

Helena pointed at a random garbage can on the floor beside her vanity. "There's pill, what I'm assuming is cocaine, and a few other goodies in that garbage can. I'll flush it all later. Simon, I'm going to do everything I can to repair the damage I've caused to mine and Eleanor's relationship, but if it comes down to her hating me because I'm trying to keep her sober, then so be it, she can hate me. If that's what she's hating me for, I can accept that. You've been right this whole time; she needs a mother and quite honestly she needs me to kick her ass a little bit."

This time, when Simon put his arm around her, he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "I'm not sure I've ever been more proud of you, Helena. What you did for Eleanor this afternoon and for what you just told me? She may be mad about it, but there is no way that Eleanor doesn't know that you love her after that. The rest will all come in time."

Helena laid her head on Simon's shoulder, "Thank you for that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you more earlier, I just didn't want to text it, and I really wasn't ready to talk about my epic failure at connecting with our daughter. I even left my phone in the bathroom on silent because I didn't feel like dealing with anything else this afternoon."

"Ahhh, that explains why you didn't answer my last few text messages. I was starting to think you'd already grown tired of a husband that actually cared how your day was going and wanted to know where you were." Simon said jokingly.

Helena cut her eyes towards her husband as she gave him a light shove, "Not hardly. Granted it may take some time getting used to. I can't remember the last time I actually cared that you knew where I was going or what I was doing."

"Now," Helena said changing the subject as she moved to sit at her vanity, "How did you meeting go with the Prime Minister?" She picked up her powder brush and began to touch up her makeup, occasionally glancing at Simon in the mirror.

"It went as well as could be expected," he said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I reiterated my position on the referendum and how important I think it is for the people to be vote. He seemed supportive of the idea. But he was hesitant when it came to our family. He said we'd need a unified front regardless if it passed or not."

Turning in her chair so that she was facing him, Helena asked, "And?"

Simon smiled, "And I told him I had your full support. I did, however mention you weren't completely sold on the idea, but that you would support me. He seemed satisfied with the idea, though I'm quite sure he was waiting on me to say that you'd die before giving up the thrown." Simon chuckled before adding, "I can't even tell you how good it felt to be able to tell the Prime Minister that you were in my corner, Helena, thank you for that."

"I meant everything I said, from now on I'm going to support you. Whether I agree or not we're a unified front. I love you. I chose love and chose you, and that means everything that comes with it, including making us homeless and tossing your brother out onto the street." Helena gave her husband a sly smile as he began to laugh. "I'm kidding. But in all seriousness, what are you going to do about Cyrus?"

Simon ran his hands through his hair, then stood up and began to pace the room as he spoke. "I told the Prime Minister he was out. It was more of a courtesy than anything else really. I've made the decision and the sooner he's out the better. I don't want him around any of you anymore, the twins already despise him so there's no love lost there and you can live without him. He's a vile human being that is capable of anything. For all I know, he's planning my murder as we speak."

"Simon!" Helena exclaimed, "I highly doubt that much! He's your brother for heaven's sakes, and I'm quite sure no man named Cyrus will ever fall a king. Cyrus may be a lot of things, but he's not a murderer."

"I'm just saying it's possible. You know as well as I do he'd try anything to become the King of England. He needs to go and the sooner the better. We all need a fresh start around here and Cyrus isn't a part of that. He will never support the referendum or me for that matter and I refuse to allow his scheming and attempts to undermine me continue. Now, I know he's currently in the palace so I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago. You may want to stay here; I know this morning you said you'd come with me but it's not going to be pretty and I'd rather not subject you to the confrontation."

Helena was quite for a moment, before walking over to her husband, blocking his movement. Placing a hand on each side of his waist she looked him in the eye, "Simon, a hundred years ago I said for better or worse. I didn't fully comprehend what that was going to entail over the years; I didn't understand how a King or Queen could ever experience the worse, but we have. We've had our fair share of bad experiences; the worst being losing Robert. Somehow though, mostly impart to your patience and forgiveness, we're still here. Now, it's time for me to be the wife you've deserved this whole time. I'm going to love you and support you and be there for you whenever you need me. So if you'd let me, I'd like to be there with you when you speak to Cyrus. I'll even stand out of the way if that makes you feel any better."

Simon leaned down, giving her a long, slow kiss. Her hands moved from his waist to his back as she pulled him closer as their kiss began to deepen. Simon was the first to break apart, "I love you so much, Helena," he said as he held her tight. "Without those bad times, we wouldn't know how close we came to losing it all. I'm honored you want to be there for me, so if you're sure you're okay with being there when I ask Cyrus to leave, he was your confidant after all, then by all means come with me."

"I love you too. And yes, he was my confidant but he's not my husband. I've chosen the side I'm going to take, so if you're bound and determined to do this, then go ahead and do it."

Simon came to a stop outside of the door to Cyrus's room. Before he could knock, he felt a hand on his back, "Before we go in there, are you absolutely sure this is what you want?" Asked Helena.

"I'm positive." Answered the King, before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door. Without waiting for an invite he entered, holding the door open for Helena to ease in behind him.

* * *

"And what did I do to deserve this honor that both the King and Queen of England would come to my chambers?" Cyrus asked sarcastically.

Walking further into the room so that he was standing only a few feet from his brother, Simon answered, "I need to speak with you and it can't wait." Simon paused briefly turning to look at Helena who was standing at the edge of the room by the door trying her best to stay out of the way. She gave him a slight nod of her head in support before Simon turned back to Cyrus.

Cyrus narrowed his eyes at his brother before sending a questioning look in Helena's direction, "Well, seeing as you've brought the Queen with you, I'm going to venture a guess and say that you decided you over-reacted yesterday and that you're not planning on ending your marriage or the monarchy, brother." A smirk played across his face.

"You're partly right. I'm not going to end my marriage, but the referendum is still in play. You just won't be around for it to matter, brother. You see, I know about all the times you've schemed against me, even the times you've used my wife. But it's over now. I want you out." Disdain etched the King's usually handsome face.

"What do you mean by that? Helena, what is he talking about?" Cyrus asked, shocked evident in his voice.

"You won't address her again, in fact leave Helena out of this all together. I've put up with a lot from you over the years, Cyrus. From both of you actually, but now I no longer feel the need to. See, Helena, I'm married to and on top of that I love her, so I'm choosing to put up whatever she does, but you I'm cutting off. I'm stripping you of your title and I'm kicking your sorry ass out of this palace. You're a leach, you're hateful and arrogant, and you've been nothing but an embarrassment to this family for year."

Cyrus' face began to turn a bright shade of red, "You can't do this, I'm a royal! And I'm your brother! And what do you mean I'm an embarrassment?! Have you checked the tabloids lately? I do believe my dear niece was yet again on the cover!"

Before Cyrus could defend himself, Simon grabbed him by the shirt collar, "You're out." Then through gritted teeth he added, "And you will never mention my daughter or either son of mine again."

Cyrus pulled away from Simon, "Son of yours? Your daughter? It's almost hilarious you actually think they're yours, King. That bitch has been lying to you for years." Cyrus all but spit out.

Helena inhaled sharply, as Simon looked at her, anger written all over his face.

"That's right brother, take her side because she's the faithful, loyal wife." Cyrus said, before asking, "Do you really think those children are yours? Your wife is nothing more than a common whore who'd spread her legs for anyone. They're all bastards. And you're the idiot who's been playing house with them the whole time."

Helena listened in horror as Cyrus shared her deepest and darkest secret. She wanted to bolt from the room but her feet wouldn't budge from their spot. Instead, she watched as the King of England began to visibly shake with anger as he was forced to hear the truths being told to him. Yet instead of coming towards her or demanding answers, he without warning punched Cyrus.

"You broke my nose!" Cyrus shouted through his hands as he tried to stop the bleeding.

"You're lucky it wasn't more than that. If you ever say another word like that about my wife or my children, your nose will be the last thing you worry about. I can promise you that, brother. Now, get your stuff and get out. I don't care where you go as long as it's not here."

Without another word, Simon turned to go leaving Cyrus on the floor. When he was even with Helena, he looked over at her, his face expressionless before walking out.

Helena looked from her husband's exiting form to the man on the floor in the center of the room. She walked towards him, "You stupid goddamn little man. Why couldn't you leave my children out of this?"

Cyrus smirked, giving her a bloody grin, "You think I was going to sit by and let you continue to prance all over this palace while I'm exiled to god knows where? You better think again you bitch. I don't know how you've managed to pull the wool over his eyes for this long, but it's over. Think of it like this, you don't have to by Simon a Father's Day card anymore. You're welcome."

Leaning down, so that she was just inches from Cyrus' face, Helena replied, "Get out. I didn't think Simon should kick you out completely, I thought he'd calm down and realize you were his brother and that this could all work out. But I'm glad he did. Now, get the hell out of my house."

Turning sharply on her heel she started for the door, only to hear Cyrus say, "It's not going to be yours much longer. I'll save you a seat beside me in purgatory."

Helena left the room without looking back. "I've got to find Simon and explain everything," she thought as she hurried back across the palace. "We were finally on the right track, and now this.

"I just hope he can forgive me one more time." She whispered to herself as she rounded the last corner that led to their bedroom. Stopping, she took a final second to compose herself before placing her hand on the door-handle, "It's now or never."


	7. Chapter 7

Wow, this is greatly overdue. I think I've finally gotten things settled so I can finally finish this story. Thank you for all the kind reviews, and even those that messaged me to continue. I hope this chapter has been worth the wait. Please review and let me know what you think!

M

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Queen Helena stopped outside her bedroom door, taking a moment to compose herself before she entered the room. She placed her palms onto the door to steady herself, unsure of what awaited her on the other side. This was a fight she would never be able to win; this was her past coming back to rip her future apart.

"It was too good to be true," she thought. "I should have known I would never be able to escape the sins of my past. It was wishful thinking to think that Simon and I could ever truly be happy."

Taking a deep breath, Helena straightened her shoulders, and entered the room saying a silent prayer as she did so.

Simon stood with his back to her, hand resting on the mantle over the fireplace staring at the family portrait that hung above it. He continued to stare at the faces of his children as he heard his wife approach.

Helena eyed him as she walked closer, waiting on him to acknowledge her, inwardly preparing herself for the battle that was about to take place. She waited momentarily for him to speak, but he appeared oblivious to presence.

Taking a small step forward she clasped her hands together, unsure of what to say. "Simon?" She asked quietly. The King flinched at her voice, but still did not turn around.

"Simon, I'm so very sorry. Please darling, look at me, you have to believe me." Helena pleaded. "I'm so sorry you found out this way. I don't know what I can say that will make this better. I guess there isn't really anything I can say that will make this better. You just need to know those children are yours in everyway that matters. You are their father; you're the only father they've ever known or will ever know." She trailed off, catching her breath. "I'm so sorry, for everything."

Simon remained quite as he absorbed the words she spoke. Finally, he turned to look at her, his face still flush from anger. "Do you really not know if they're mine or not? Just tell me that, Helena. All these years, you've wondered but never bothered to check?"

The Queen, unable to meet her husbands eye, stared at the ground as she shook her head no. "You can't even know how sorry I am. I have prayed so many times that they were. I've watched them, studied them for mannerisms that resemble you, but I've always been to afraid to know the truth. What would happen if they weren't yours? If the paternity came back negative it would be a scandal that we couldn't bear. There are no secrets, Simon. If I had them tested, everyone would know. I couldn't do that to them, Simon, or you."

"Ahh there it is, the real reason. You couldn't do that to yourself, darling. What, you didn't think the people could bear to know that their gorgeous young queen was nothing more than a cheap whore?" Simon spat at her.

Helena's eyes shot up, a fire in them as she spoke, "That's not true. I'm a lot of things, and I've done some awful things, but this is not one of those times. If it ever got out the King's children were being tested for paternity, it wouldn't have mattered if they came back yours or not. They would always be branded the bastard children of King Simon. DNA tests can be fixed, Simon, and all of England would just assume that it had been. I was protecting my children, no matter what you think. I could care less if this whole damn country thinks I'm whore but I refuse to have them think anything less of my children."

Simon ran his hands through his hair, "What a fucking mess. And yet things make so much sense now."

Helena gave him a questioning look, "I don't follow. What makes sense?"

"You, this. I don't know, Helena, I guess it answers why throughout the years when you thought no one was looking, you'd have a fear in your eyes like this was all going to end. Like the bubble would burst and you'd be the poor farm girl you were when I met you." Pointing to the chair in front of the fireplace, Simon directed, "Sit down."

Careful as not to further anger her husband, Helena did as she was told.

"Robert was enough for you, remember? God, you never wanted anymore children and then you got pregnant; I was ecstatic of course, I always wanted a palace full. And then we found out you were having twins. The day we found out, I was over the moon happy; I was getting closer to the big family I had always wanted. But then I looked at you, and I could tell something was wrong. You put on your biggest smile and you pretended everything was alright but I had already seen the flicker of fear and doubt."

Helena remained quite as Simon spoke, unsure of where he was going with this story and too afraid to add fuel to the fire.

Simon paced about in front of her as he continued his tale, "You did finally get excited about the pregnancy. I think about the time you found out you were going to have at least one daughter to spoil, and I thought, "Okay, maybe I imagined it all." But then the day that they were born, even if for only the slightest second, there was the look again. This time I couldn't shake it because I knew I didn't imagine it. You were scared and I wanted to know why."

Taking the chair adjacent to Helena's, Simon placed his forearms on his knees and leaned forward, so that he was almost face to face with Helena. "I kept playing it over in my mind from the time you found out you were pregnant, and then it dawned on me how much I was traveling around that time with the military maneuvers. And I knew what was scaring you; somehow it all clicked. "

Helena's breath caught in her throat. She wanted to speak, to cry, to apologize, but her body was paralyzed as she listened to Simon's recount.

"I have never wanted to hurt someone as badly as I wanted to hurt you that day. I will never forget storming through the palace looking for you; I was going to demand the truth right then and there. But then I found you in the nursery, you were holding Liam, with Robert sitting on your lap as you read him a story; Eleanor was asleep in her crib. As soon as you saw me, you gave me this great big smile then went back to reading. And I just stood there, watching you, completely enamored and thinking how everything I loved was in that very room. No matter what you had done, I still loved you and my children."

"All this time, you knew there was a possibility the twins weren't yours?" Helena asked quietly. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Simon gave her a sad smile, "My dear, there are defining moments in every man's life. That was one of them for me, Helena. It wouldn't matter if they hadn't been mine. I held them when they cried, I wiped tears and noses, I worried over them and still worry over them. I have loved them since the very second they became a part of our equation. So I'm going to put your mind at ease for once and all, I am their father, Helena, without a doubt."

A cry escaped her throat as she began to sob tears of joy. She shook her head in confusion, "You're sure? But how?"

"When they were about a year old, I had them tested. I had a dream one night that someone tried to take them from me and I needed to know that no matter what happened, my children would be safe; I needed to make sure. It wouldn't have mattered what the outcome would have been; they were mine. But I thought the best way for me to protect them was to know what I was dealing with. The test just proved what I knew all along, I am their father."

Helena replayed the words Simon had just spoken over and over in her mind. "The test proved what I knew all along, I am their father. She closed her eyes briefly, saying a silent thank you to god. For years she had been too afraid to know the truth and now that she did, she felt relief. The weight she had been carrying around for so long, no longer hung like a yoke around her neck. She opened her eyes to see Simon watching her.

Reaching over, Helena placed a hand on Simon's arm. "Thank you for that. I've prayed since the day they were born that they were yours. And now I know. I'm so very sorry there was ever a question, Simon. If I could redo everything I would." Helena drew her hand back as she attempted to dab the tears away without ruining her eye liner, giving herself time to figure out how to fully convey her deepest feelings. "I love you, Simon, and want with all my heart for things to be good between us. We made some promises last night, one of them being to start over. Please, don't give up on me yet. I've got years' worth of mistakes to make up for and I'm begging you to let me try. Let me show you I can be the kind of wife you deserve."

"Is this the last thing, Helena? I want the truth, right now. We also said total honesty so it's time. If there is any other secret that you're holding onto, whether big or small, it's time to come clean. We can't make this work if we're still keeping secrets. I will not be blind-sided again, like with what just happened with Cyrus." Simon shook his head in disgust as he began to pace the room again, anxious energy no longer allowing him to stay still. "Goddamn it Helena. Cyrus of all people? That's who you chose to confide in?!" Brother or not we have never been close, there has never been any love lost between us. Did you not bother to think that he would one day use this against me, against our children? What if something happened to me? Cyrus is who you really want on the throne?!

"Simon, no, I swear I didn't share any fears that I had with Cyrus. I've never shared it with anyone. I swear on the lives of Liam and Eleanor he didn't hear it from me. He must have guessed, taking a stab in the dark, whatever he could to hurt you. He did catch me once, sneaking back in from a tryst and he's known about several of the affairs." Helena looked down as she said the last part, unable to look Simon in the eye. "He was trying to hurt us both just now, hoping he'd get lucky and you'd throw me out with him. I'm sure he feels like I've betrayed him as well."

"Better him than your family, Helena. At least you picked the right side this time," Simon countered.

Helena slowly got up and went to her husband, stopping only when she was mere inches from him. "Can we move past this? Can you really forgive this last betrayal?"

"Quite frankly, Helena, I've put up with a lot of shit from you through the years. I've overlooked things and pretended it didn't bother me when it really did. But no more, do you understand me? If there is anything else, any other bombshells regarding us, you, our children, you need to tell me right now. I want complete transparency, from both of us. It's the only way this can work."

"No, there's nothing else. You know everything. Every mistake and past transgression you're completely aware of. Some of them, well most of them, I wished you didn't know, but you do. All except the names and details of my "encounters," which I will tell you if you really need to know. I beg that you don't, but if that's what it takes to make this work I'll tell you every detail. Other than that, there is nothing else."

"I don't want the details of my wife with other men, Helena." Then, reaching over and taking her chin in his hand with a little more force than necessary, Simon leaned forward so they were nose to nose. His voice deepened, there was fire in his eyes as he spoke, "But this better be the last surprise because I will not be as forgiving the next time, especially where my children are concerned."

Helena was taken aback at the anger and hurt that were evident in his voice as he spoke and clearly written on his face. But as she looked into his eyes, she saw something else burning in the dark embers of his brown eyes; desire. It was a look she was all to familiar with, from the various men she had slept with, or the ones who had only dreamed of sleeping with her. This time though it was different. This time the look was coming from a man who loved her regardless of knowing everything about her, a man that would have give her the world ten times over if she'd given him the opportunity. Without a second's hesitation Helena kissed him, crushing his mouth with hers and wrapping her arms around his neck.

Caught off guard, Simon placed his hands on her shoulders and briefly pushed her away. Searching her face, he found the look of a woman who needed him as much as he needed her. The longing written clearly across her beautiful features. With the ease of a man half his age, he picked her up and walked her back to the bed. Turning so that he was the one sitting on the bed, he stood her up in front of him.

Helena gave him a questioning glance, but before she could say anything, Simon spoke, "Take off your dress, slowly." He held her gaze until her dress hit the floor, "Now the rest." His eyes wandered up and down her body, taking in every curve.

"God, I am a lucky, lucky man," Simon whispered, lost in the awe of her beauty.

Standing before her husband, Helena had never felt more vulnerable, or more loved. For probably the first time in their 30-year marriage, they had no secrets. He was aware of every fault she had and was still willing to accept her and love her.

Reaching for her, Simon pulled her to him. That would be the last gentle act as her body crashed into his. Buttons flew, as his shirt was ripped away. Her nails dug into his back as she urged him on. It wasn't soft or gentle lovemaking, but the kind of rough, dirty sex they both needed from each other.

Laying in his arms after, her back to his chest, Helena ran her fingers over the top of Simon's knuckles, tracing the bruise that was now forming.

"You didn't have to hit him, Simon." She chided, before adding, "but I am glad that you did."

Simon flexed his hand looking at the damage before he laced his fingers with hers, "He deserved it. I won't allow him to talk to you, or about you like he did. Not as long as you're my wife. And he's damn sure not going to refer to our children as he did. I'm not going to stand for it."

Turning enough so that she could give him a kiss on the cheek, Helena said, "Thank you for defending me."

"I will always defend you, love." Simon answered, "that's what husbands are supposed to do. Now, how about we get some sleep. I'm not nearly as young as I used to be and I'm relatively sure you just tried to kill me."

Helena laughed, "You're not that old, besides I was the one getting man handled. Not that I'm complaining."

As Simon drifted to sleep, he heard his wife whisper, "I love you more than you'll ever really know." And for the first time, he knew she meant it.


	8. Chapter 8

The rays of the early morning sun slowly began to inch across the room only to land on the form of a princess, lost in thought on the sofa. After tossing and turning for hours, Eleanor had given up on the idea of sleep and moved to the couch. In her lap, sat the photo of her and her mother. The same photo that on any given day could have found her snorting cocaine off of the queen's smiling face.

Thoughts of her mother's behavior, as well as their earlier conversation echoed through her mind, "you are more than the drugs on that table, Eleanor, you're more than all of that." The sincerity in her eyes as she spoke, had meant more to Eleanor than she cared to admit.

"Ugh, I never know what to expect from you, mum." Eleanor said to the frame before tossing it on the couch beside her, "Or what game you're playing at." Even as she said the words out loud, she knew they sounded hollow, because for once, she knew what her mother was up to and that scared her more than anything. For the first time in as long as Eleanor could remember, the Queen of England wasn't just pretending to be the doting and caring mother the people needed her to be, but was actually being the kind of mother her daughter needed her to be.

Instead of the sarcasm and disapproval she so often used when dealing with her troubled daughter, Helena had instead opened up and shared some of her own past, revealing how she had been pushed into the monarchy, something Eleanor was not expecting at all.

She reached over and picked up her phone to check the time, finding it to be only a few minutes after six. "Goooddd, I need to get high. Why did you have to decide to get all maternal now, mum?!" muttered Eleanor, glancing at the table in front of her and silently praying her mother had missed something. With Robert, the Referendum, her mum's new behavior; It was all too much. Yet again, her mother's words played through her mind, "You are more."

Slowly she shook her head before walking over to the mirror in the corner of her room and looking at herself closely. Touching the bags under her eyes, which were more pronounced than usual, Eleanor asked herself, "But am I?" Before realizing she hadn't been in so long. Try as she might, Eleanor couldn't recall the last time she went a full day without numbing her senses in some form, whether it be alcohol, sex, or drugs.

Eleanor was still staring into the mirror when she heard a light knocking on the door.

"Who the fuck," she muttered to herself as she moved towards the door. Opening it just enough to peak out, she was more than surprised to find none other than the King himself.

"Dad!" she exclaimed as she opened the door, "It's really early, is something wrong?"

"May I come in?" Asked her father.

"You're house." Quipped Eleanor as she took a step back so that he could enter.

King Simon took a seat on the couch, noticing the red streaks of paint on the walls, "I see you've redecorated. It's very colorful, Eleanor."

"Dad, as much as I'm glad to see you, I think it's a little early for you to be stopping by to talk about this," Eleanor gestured to the walls. "What gives?" she asked, taking a seat beside him on the couch, folding her legs beneath her as she did.

"I just wanted to talk to you; I'm sorry it's so early. I figured if I knocked lightly and you were still sleeping then I wouldn't bother you. And on the off chance you were awake, well here we are."

"Okaaay. Both parents in the span of a day. I'm not even going to know how to act." Eleanor stated with a smirk.

"That's part of what we need to talk about, Eleanor. I did speak to your mother, and I know things didn't go that well."

Eleanor tried to cut him off, "Dad."

The King held up his hand, stopping his daughter, "Just hold on, we are going to talk about your mother, but first I want to talk to you about the referendum." Eleanor looked down at her lap, not used to being scolded by her father.

Simon continued on, "Your mother wasn't supposed to tell you that I was moving forward with it, or really anything about it. I wanted to talk to you and your brother together, to explain. I'm not doing this to take anything away from you or Liam, Eleanor, I'm doing this for you. Even though you may not see it, one day you will. And the day you have your own children, you will completely understand." King Simon eyed her closely before adding, "I just need you to trust me, okay?"

Eleanor lifted her eyes, meeting her fathers, "I've always trusted you, dad. I just don't understand what this is going to mean for us, or why now."

The King smiled, "I know you've got tons of questions, and I probably don't even have half of those answers, but I will try to answer everyone of them you have. Just not right now. I want the rest of this particular conversation to take place as a family; we're going to have dinner together as a family, so don't make plans."

"As a family?" muttered Eleanor.

"Yes, Eleanor, as a family. Because no matter what happens, you, me, Liam, your mother, we're all still a family. And dammit we're going to start acting like it. Dinner will be good, I can explain my reasons to both you and Liam at once. I made your mother see my point of view, I'm hoping I can do that for you both as well."

"Yeah dad, okay. I'm just trying to figure out how you convinced "The Queen of England" that giving up her crown would be a good idea." Eleanor questioned, with a hint of sarcasm in her voice, before adding, "I'm pretty sure mum would cut you over giving up the diamonds alone."

This time King Simon laughed in response to his daughter. "You're probably right about that. As far as giving up her crown, I just had to remind her of a few things and appeal to her maternal instinct and love for her children."

"Maternal instinct?" Questioned Eleanor. "Dad, mum's a bitch, plain and simple. And she has no maternal instinct."

"Eleanor," her father scolded again, "there's so much more to your mother than you know. Believe me when I tell you she knows how much she's failed you. I think yesterdays talk with you put into perspective exactly how much. And she has to live with that regret for the rest of her life, knowing that she missed years where she could or should have treated you better, been active in your life. But at the end of the day, she's still your mother and she's the only one you're ever going to have. There's also the fact that she loves you very much, Eleanor."

Before Eleanor could respond, the King added, "I know she wouldn't want me to tell you this but she was very upset when I found her yesterday. I'm not sure what all was said, that's between you and her, but don't think for a moment, Eleanor, that woman isn't wishing she could change things between you and have a real relationship. And I know, no matter how much you act like you don't care, you want that to. Too much time has already passed, kiddo, grab at the chance to change things while you can. I think Robert was proof enough our world could be turned upside down in an instant, don't take the chance of not mending fences."

Eleanor remained silent, so her father continued on. "You're more like her than you know. You're both strong-willed, aggravating as hell, determined, smarter than most anyone in the room, and as much as you may not want to hear this, you look just like her." Simon laughed as his only daughter rolled her eyes at the last comparison. "I don't ask a lot of you, but I'm asking you to give her a chance. If not for her, do it for me, because she is trying."

Eleanor nodded her head at her father in silent agreement.

Simon stood and kissed his daughter on the forehead, "I love you kid, and I think you're about to realize how much your mother does as well. Now, don't forget about dinner tonight, I'm thinking 7:30, so don't be late."

"Love you too, dad," Eleanor replied as she watched her father leave.

She sat somewhat in amazement for several minutes after he had left. Even after everything, her mother's attitude and neglect of the family, her intelligent and handsome father was still clearly in love with her to be able to defend her so easily.

"Just unbelievable." She whispered.

"But maybe," Eleanor thought, "If dad thinks she's trying and that I should give her a chance, maybe I should?"

As much as she hated to admit it, Eleanor knew that her father was right. If in nothing else but that there was more to her mother than meets the eye. That was evident in their brief talk yesterday. Hearing how her mother was forced to save her family by marrying the young king, a story Eleanor had never heard before had her almost feeling sorry for her mother.

"No wonder she turned into a stone cold bitch, it was how she coped with the scrutiny and public eye of this life. She picked her vice, and I picked mine." Eleanor thought, only to be met with another, "I'm loosing it, she's treated me like shit for so long, but I'm the one feeling sorry for her? What is wrong with me?"

It was then, that still small voice whispered, "Because dad's right, at the end of the day she's my mum, and heaven help me but I do need her."

Eleanor glanced at the time on her phone again, noting that it was now closer to seven a.m., a more reasonable time to pay the Queen a visit.

* * *

"Mum, mum wake up." Eleanor all but shouted at her mother. "I knocked but you didn't hear me."

"Mmmm, what? I'm up." Mumbled the Queen groggily, as she brought a hand up to rub her face.

Eleanor took a step closer to the bed, "Mum, I need to say something and I want you to listen, so are you awake?"

"Eleanor, darling, yes, what time is it, is everything alright?" asked the Queen, concern evident on her face.

"It's still early, but I was up most of the night thinking about what you said yesterday." answered the princess, before adding, "and what you did, you know, with the drugs."

The Queen eyed her daughter, "Eleanor, are you okay?

Eleanor shook her head, "Let me say this, okay? I heard you yesterday. I wanted you to know that I heard everything you said. About me, and us, about all of this. And I also know that there is probably no one here that has sacrificed or lost more than you have, but you don't talk about any of it. I learned more about you yesterday than I think I've ever known. Even though I told you we don't have the kind of mother/daughter, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to." Eleanor hesitated, looking to her mother for any kind of reaction.

Her mother was silent, so Eleanor continued on before she lost her nerve, "I would like us to spend some time together, maybe tomorrow? I didn't get much sleep last night so I think I'll just rest today, but I'd like to hear the whole story about how you became Queen, not just the condensed version we've always been told, but the rest of the one you started about how Duchie forced you into this. Would that be okay?"

Helena smiled, "I'd love nothing more, darling. Tomorrow would be perfect, maybe riding?"

"Yeah, that'd be great, mum." Eleanor returned the smile, "Anyways, I guess I'll see you at dinner tonight?"

"Dinner?" The Queen questioned.

"Yeah, dad said we were having dinner together as a family. He said he wants to talk to me and Liam about the referendum." Eleanor answered. "Shouldn't you already know about this?"

"He left early this morning, I'm sure he would have let me know at some point today." Helena replied.

Eleanor shot her mother a questioning look, "So things are really better between you two?"

"For the first time in years, I can honestly tell you that yes, we're getting there." Helena answered, an even bigger smile spreading across her face.

"Good. Okay, well I'll see you later then, mum." Eleanor turned to go.

"Eleanor? Get some rest okay." Helena offered her daughter before she could leave.

"Yeah, mum. Okay." Eleanor stopped at the door, "Mum, one more thing. In case you didn't know, no matter what happens between us, I do love you." Without giving her mother a chance to respond, Eleanor left.


End file.
